Prestobama and His Sorcerer's Pen

Come One! Come All!

Ladies and Gentlemen!

Boys and Girls!

Step right up and see the show!

For only one thin dime and three trillion dollars, witness the Astounding, the Amazing, the Magical and the Mystical as we enter the first 100 days of the Prestobama Presidency!

Experience the thrills and chills as 200...count 'em-200! executive orders from the Bush administration disappear right before your very eyes!

Yes, friends, with a stroke of his Sorcerer's Pen, Prestobama has made Gitmo a distant memory!

No more must America cringe in embarrassment before Europe's elite.

No more will the terrorist's cries of pain haunt our dreams as they are subjected to three meals a day; a bed to sleep on, and forced sanitation.

No more will they sputter out the names of their terrorist masters; or spit out the next target for an attack as water trickles up their noses.

But wait! That's not all, Folks!

Watch with wide eyes and bated breath as Prestobama performs an illusion of such preposterous proportions, few magicians in our lifetime have attempted it!

With a flick of his wrist and a bam-o change-0! Terrorism will vanish!

All you will see is a flock of doves crying out "man-caused disaster" as they fly into the sunset!

And he doesn't stop there! Hang onto your hats kiddos! 'Cause in an amazing two-fer, Prestobama will aslo change the Global War on Terror into...

"Overseas Contingency Operation"!

Friends, you just won't believe your eyes!

*warning:

These illusions are extremely frightening. Only the heavily medicated or galactically stupid will be allowed into this portion of the performance.

Now Neighbors, Comrades and Community Organizers,

for only a few trillion more--a mere pittance--you can watch as Prestobama transforms capitalism into communism to thundering applause!

And as a special treat, Prestobama will saw a CEO in half!

Can he put him back together?

Sure! But why ruin a great performance?

So many undeserving rich...so little time.

Nevermind! On with the show!

With another stroke of his Sorcerer's Pen, Prestobama will turn Wall Street into Stall Street and America's economy will drop to one knee faster than America's President in front of a Saudi King.

And while the world watches (and laughs behind their hands), Prestobama will wave his Sorcerer's Pen and turn oil, gas and coal--all at once, mind you--into pretty wind farms and useless solar panels! Restoring the horse-drawn carriage to its rightful place as America's mode of transportation!

Yes! You too can join the fun of facism!

Just hop onto the stage during the Spread-the-Wealth portion of the show; hand over all your money, and you will receive a brownshirt with the Prestobama logo on the lapel.

All you have to do is volunteer 40 hours of your time each week in the Magical, Mystery Tour (also known as the Civilian National Security Force).

Spy on your neighbors!

Rummage through their recycling bins!

It's an experience you won't want to miss!

Now...Dim the lights!

Drum roll, please!

Here we enter the most dangerous part of the performance:

Prestobama will light his Sorcerer's Pen...on fire!

gasp!

And while the flames shoot high into the air...Prestobama the Great! The Magnificent!...will overturn not one--but two of the most terrifying measures put forth by the Bush administration:

The ban on federally funded embryonic stem cell research, and...hold onto your socks!

The ban on federally funded abortions overseas!

Can he do it?

Yes he can!

Phew! Now you can all breathe a collective sigh of relief, knowing that your tax dollars will provide the freedom to destroy life here and abroad.

And if you hold onto your tickets folks, they'll be good for the next show in which Prestobama uses his flaming pen to sign the Freedom of Choice Act!

*Adults with tickets will get in free...but your children will have to pay.

Coming Soon!

Prestobama's jaw-dropping, adrenaline-pumping attempt to nationalize healthcare!

*Tickets must be purchased in advance.

Please show your ID and all your medical records at the door.

No wheelchair access.

Latecomers will be euthanized.

redink